Broken Heart – Day 39, 40, 41 of 92

Broken HeartWhat a rollercoaster ride this week has been. It felt bottomless at times, but it eventually made its way back up. If you read my previous blog post you know that my dog was extremely ill, and then it seemed she was getting better. Well, she had her up & downs, and after going to the emergency room twice for her, I had to seek help one more time. This third time was a charm, because Pen (my dog) & I found someone that really helped her. It was a vet in Rogue Valley. This of course was a huge relief for both Pen & I. Pen is now healing and appears to be on her way to recovery. She is still on antibiotics and other medicines, and she still has a ways to go, and more testing to be done and a follow-up with the vet, etc. — so it’s not over yet! But I can say in full confidence that I believe we made it through the storm. It was a hellish week for us both. Lots of tears and lots of pain. It isn’t easy when the love of your life is in pain and appears to be dying. It truly is the worst feeling ever. Especially when it’s someone that is tiny and can’t talk. It makes you want to help even more, because you know they can’t help themselves. They need you. And they can’t live without you. And that’s how I felt about her. Pen-Pen is the love of my life. She keeps me waking up in the morning, she’s the sunshine in each day. I can’t imagine myself without her. I just can’t. Anyway. She’s on the road to recovery, and I am too. We are both dusting ourselves off and both giving each other hugs and looks of ‘I’m so glad you are here, thank you for being here for me.’

Over the last few days I did exercise, but much less/lighter than usual. I also became really dehydrated and didn’t eat well (I didn’t eat badly, just not enough or not what I would have normally eaten.) I also haven’t slept well at all this week, and creative work began to pile up day after day. So in regards to the 92 day challenge, I need to make up for lost time or simply get back on track. Now that the emergency is over I can officially get back on the horse. :) I’m back, and ready to make the most of each day like never before.

PS, the broken heart illustration is a reminder to me that the strongest bones in one’s body are the ones that have been broken. When we go through storms in our lives, and life breaks us down and rips into us — it’s an opportunity for growth. Every time our heart breaks or we get scared that we can’t handle the love that we feel — it just means we need to make more space for it. It means our heart needs to get bigger & stronger to hold all the love. This week I do believe that my heart got bigger. It still needs to get stronger! But it did get bigger. It’s bigger and more aware than it has ever been. And for that I am very grateful.

(If you want to know more about this 92 day journey, you can find Day 1 here. It will fill you in on all the details.

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2 thoughts on “Broken Heart – Day 39, 40, 41 of 92

  1. This resonated with me: “Every time our heart breaks or we get scared that we can’t handle the love that we feel — it just means we need to make more space for it. It means our heart needs to get bigger & stronger to hold all the love.”

  2. Thank you for saying that. It always mean a lot to me when someone identifies with how I feel or what I say. It makes me feel less alone in my thoughts, and less alone in life in general.

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